A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit l..
A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
2024-02-25 04:00:42 +0000 UTC View Post
emmahircine posts
Why did the bum sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “tush ..
Why did the bum sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “tush time”!
2024-02-25 00:00:42 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the woman who put snakes in her hair to c..
Did you hear about the woman who put snakes in her hair to cure migraines? Yeah, it’s oddly Medusinal.
2024-02-24 23:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostHow can you tell when a clock is hungry? It goes back four s..
How can you tell when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.
2024-02-24 22:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostWhy don’t chemists like puns? All the best ones argon.
Why don’t chemists like puns? All the best ones argon.
2024-02-24 21:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostI was sitting in a coffee shop, and “Bolero” came on. Around..
I was sitting in a coffee shop, and “Bolero” came on. Around 8 minutes later, everything started to un-Ravel.
2024-02-24 20:00:20 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you give the Pharaoh who has everything? A gift cart..
What do you give the Pharaoh who has everything? A gift cartouche.
2024-02-24 19:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostThey say that no two people see colour the exact same way, s..
They say that no two people see colour the exact same way, so really, colour is just a pigment of your imagination.
2024-02-24 18:00:20 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in mele..
What do you call an Eevee evolution that specializes in melee? Bludgeon
2024-02-24 17:00:24 +0000 UTC View PostMy friend fell into an upholstery machine. He’s fully recove..
My friend fell into an upholstery machine. He’s fully recovered now.
2024-02-24 16:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the Celiac Disease sufferer who went to a..
Did you hear about the Celiac Disease sufferer who went to a wheat processing plant? She was a real Gluten for punishment.
2024-02-24 12:00:24 +0000 UTC View Post***Scroll across to pick your hot dawg stand*** *A most deli..
***Scroll across to pick your hot dawg stand*** *A most delicious time indeed* 🌭 each bun contains a super saucy gift 🌭 $10 per sausage delight
2024-02-24 11:54:42 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the antiques collector who found an old C..
Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old Coca-Cola lamp? She was soda lighted.
2024-02-24 08:00:37 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the exorcist who offers a payment plan? A..
Did you hear about the exorcist who offers a payment plan? Apparently if people fall behind on payments, they’ll get repossessed!
2024-02-24 04:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post**Useless Fact of the Day:** ***Your fingernails grow faste..
**Useless Fact of the Day:** ***Your fingernails grow faster on your dominant hand.***
2024-02-24 00:00:22 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear that somebody spiked the punch at a roof design..
Did you hear that somebody spiked the punch at a roof designer convention? The next day, everybody had a terrible overhang.
2024-02-23 23:00:35 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you get when Eevee is exposed to a French Stone? Na..
What do you get when Eevee is exposed to a French Stone? Napoleon!
2024-02-23 22:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostMe waiting impatiently for my food delivery
Me waiting impatiently for my food delivery
2024-02-23 21:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostIf loving kindness changes your life, is that Mettamorphosis..
If loving kindness changes your life, is that Mettamorphosis?
2024-02-23 20:00:19 +0000 UTC View PostA termite walks into the bar. He sits down and asks “hey, is..
A termite walks into the bar. He sits down and asks “hey, is the bartender?”
2024-02-23 19:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostHow do you measure the quality of my puns? With a sighsmogra..
How do you measure the quality of my puns? With a sighsmograph!
2024-02-23 18:00:20 +0000 UTC View PostWhat happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Dayt..
What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen
2024-02-23 17:00:23 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the guy who turned into a vampire before ..
Did you hear about the guy who turned into a vampire before he was bitten? Yeah, Premature edraculation is rough.
2024-02-23 16:00:19 +0000 UTC View PostWe actually had some sun today in the UK!
We actually had some sun today in the UK!
2024-02-23 14:08:46 +0000 UTC View PostWhat happens when a piano falls down a mineshaft? A flat min..
What happens when a piano falls down a mineshaft? A flat miner.
2024-02-23 13:10:56 +0000 UTC View PostDid you hear about the banker who left her job? She just los..
Did you hear about the banker who left her job? She just lost interest.
2024-02-23 08:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Why aren’t depressed people worried about flat tires? They’r..
Why aren’t depressed people worried about flat tires? They’re always carrying despair.
2024-02-23 04:00:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you hear about the guy who started chirping after a one ..
Did you hear about the guy who started chirping after a one night stand? They think he caught a canarial disease.
2024-02-23 00:01:06 +0000 UTC View Post