My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.It seemed very..
My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.
2024-12-09 15:00:40 +0000 UTC View Post
emmahircine posts
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Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Co..
Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly-sliced cabbage.
2024-12-09 14:00:40 +0000 UTC View PostWhen you look really closely...…all mirrors look like eyebal..
When you look really closely...
…all mirrors look like eyeballs
2024-12-09 13:00:48 +0000 UTC View PostDid you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about ..
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?
John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.”
2024-12-09 12:00:48 +0000 UTC View PostHow do you talk to Italian ghosts?With a Luigi board.
How do you talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi board.
2024-12-09 11:00:51 +0000 UTC View PostTwo cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You..
Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”
The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.”
2024-12-09 10:00:48 +0000 UTC View PostWhat’s orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
2024-12-09 09:00:52 +0000 UTC View PostCurvy, creamy, busty..Alex is online and HORNY!@alexxxandria..
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What’s E.T. short for?He’s only got little legs
What’s E.T. short for?
He’s only got little legs
2024-12-09 08:01:03 +0000 UTC View PostTwo men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to th..
Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”
The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”
2024-12-09 07:01:06 +0000 UTC View PostWhat came first, the chicken or the egg?Safety. Safety alway..
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Safety. Safety always comes first.
2024-12-09 06:01:10 +0000 UTC View PostThis is your captain speaking.AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUT..
This is your captain speaking.
AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
2024-12-09 05:01:19 +0000 UTC View PostA coroner died.He stiill went to work
A coroner died.
He stiill went to work
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How do you get a squirrel to like you?Act like a nut.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
2024-12-08 14:06:50 +0000 UTC View PostWhich rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instru..
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
2024-12-08 12:30:32 +0000 UTC View PostI bought a dog from a locksmith.The second I got him in the ..
I bought a dog from a locksmith.
The second I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door.
2024-12-08 11:30:28 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?Cheese Was.
What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.
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Me waiting patientky for my take out order.
Me waiting patientky for my take out order.
2024-12-08 04:01:06 +0000 UTC View PostWhat kind of dogs love car racing?Lap dogs.
What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs.
2024-12-08 03:00:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?Librarian:..
Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?
Librarian: They’re right behind you!
2024-12-08 02:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post